What Nobody Tells You Before You Get Guinea Pigs

Everyone says guinea pigs are a good starter pet. Low maintenance, easy to care for, perfect for small spaces. I believed all of that when I brought Biscuit and Juniper home three years ago. I was wrong about most of it.

They are not quiet

Guinea pigs wheek. Loudly. They wheek when they hear the fridge open, when they hear a bag rustling, when they see you walk past without acknowledging them, and sometimes just because they feel like it. Biscuit has a wheek that registers somewhere between a smoke alarm and a question. You will learn to love it. You will also never be able to eat a meal in peace again.

They need more space than the pet store cage suggests

The cage on the shelf at the pet store that says 'perfect for guinea pigs' is not big enough for guinea pigs. A single pig needs at least 7.5 square feet. A pair needs 10.5 or more. The industry-standard C&C cage — cubes and coroplast, built yourself — costs about the same as a store cage and is twice the size. Build the C&C cage. Your pigs will use every inch of it.

You actually need two

Guinea pigs are herd animals. A single pig without a companion will get lonely and depressed even with lots of human interaction. Same-sex pairs are the standard — two females is generally the easiest starting point. Get two from the beginning, or adopt a bonded pair. The rescue system is full of bonded pairs looking for homes.

The hay bill is real

Timothy hay is 80% of their diet and it needs to be available 24/7 without interruption. A pair of guinea pigs will go through a large bag of hay in about two weeks. Subscribe-and-save is your friend. So are the vacuum attachments specifically designed for hay dust, which is its own discovery you will make around week three.